Reset to Previous Save, part 1: The End
Spoilers: thru end of season six
Main Characters: Willow, Xander
Rating: TV 14 to TV MA, bit harder than an episode
Warning: Main Character Death (sort of)
Disclaimer:Not Mine! Not Mine! No Sue! No Sue!
Author's Note: Revised version, a previous edition was published on the wi
llow-xander list. Takes place right after the end of season six.

Buffy paced thru the living room of Xander's apartment. Xander came out of
the bedroom and gently shut the door. "She's sleeping."

"Is she... is she Willow?"

"She's Willow. She's Willow who just discovered she's a witchy Hulk, and ... anyway, how's Giles?"

"He's out of surgery, They pinned the broken rib and fixed the internal
bleeding, so he should be ok in a few weeks. And... what?"

"It's just...you should go to him, you know, let him wake up to a friendly face."

"Yeah, so WE should go to him. Xander, spill, why are you trying to change the subject here?"

"You know Will, always ready to take a little guilt trip. Well, I think
she's about ready to take the final trip. I saw her eyeing some knives earlier,
and she's been talking about how things might have been better if she'd died
earlier. I, um, can't leave her alone."

Buffy went to move past Xander into the bedroom, but he held her back. "She
doesn't want to see anybody right now, much less one she tried to murder with
dirt elementals. She's having enough trouble talking to me, and all she did was
psychically smack me around."

"Whenever she's ready, call me, ok?" Buffy turned and left.

"Sure Buff, if she's ever ready." Xander turned and reentered the bedroom.

Willow was sitting curled up in Xander's bed, covers pulled up to her chin,
looking pale and sad as only she could. "Hey Will, I thought you were asleep."

"I heard voices."

"Sorry."

"S'ok. Xander," she patted the side of the bed. " sit down."

Xander sat, placing an arm around her in a loose embrace. "Anything you
wanted to talk about, or do you just need a talking space heater?"

"I like my space heater," she snuggles closer to him, "but I have a few
things to say. Don't worry about me committing suicide. It's not that I've found
some great new reason to live, it's just that I can't hurt you anymore than I
already have. It wouldn't do any good now anyway. It won't bring back Tara, or
even that waste Warren." She twisted around to place her forehead against
Xander's chest, just above his heart.

"Uh, Will, what are you doing?"

"It's just, when I'm here, I can feel your love for me, and can almost
forget how much I hate myself."

"Come on Will, that's just the guilt talking."

"No, no it's not. I've never ... the only time I've ever felt good about
myself was when someone else told me I was wonderful. Tara, Oz, you. The only
time I felt powerful was when I was wielding the magics, and then I became a
Star Trek episode, you know, one of the ones with a really unsubtle moral."

Xander laid back and began stroking her hair, her head still over his
heart. "You're not Gary Mitchell, Will. You managed to make it back to human."

She rolled over to face him."No, I didn't. Just because I'm not all veiny
and brunette and strutting doesn't mean the power's gone away. I don't ever want
to be that way again, but I can feel it calling me. The nerds were right, it's
like Dark Phoenix in here."

"Whoa, Willow, I don't like where this conversation is going. You are not
Dark Phoenix, you can handle this."

"We've both read this one before. 'You want me to fight? I have. I am- with
all my strength. Your way, I'd have to stay completely in control of myself
every second of every day for the rest of my immortal life. Maybe I could do it.
But if I slipped, even for an instant, if I ... failed ... if even one more
person died at my hands ... it's better this way.'"

"Will don't do this. You told me ten seconds ago you weren't going to kill yourself."

"I'm not. I came up with a way to get rid of Dark Phoenix but save Jean
Grey. First I need to know something. We both want crayon-breaky Willow back,
right, no more scary-veiny Willow? How much are we willing to risk to get her
back?"

"Enough cryptic, already. What are you talking about?"

"I think I can send you back in time, with a variant of the temporal fold
spell we used to send evil vampire me back to her time. Since you're already
there it's gonna require a little extra oomf, and you'll only be there for a few
seconds before you snap back here, but if you're in close proximity to yourself
there'll be a degree of psychic overlap."

"Time travel, psychic overlap, when did you become Mrs. Sam Beckett?"

"Xander, I'm serious. I...this me can't be allowed to survive. I'm a
ticking magical timebomb waiting for the next tragedy to set me off. The only
way there can be a me in this world is if I'm powerless, and the power can't be
extracted from me. We have to make sure that I never develop the power in the
first place."

"So, I go back and save Tara, preventing you from becoming a living Death Star?"

"Not early enough. At that point I could go all vengeancy if anything
happened to anyone. We have to change things before that, back when I first got
into magic. The first major spell I cast was restoring Angel's soul. Giles said
it might open doors I can't close. Giles..."

"Don't worry Will, if we pull this off you won't have anything to apologize for."

"So, you're onboard with this?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. So, we can't have you restore Angel's soul, so we need
someone else to cast the spell, or else we need to keep Angel from losing his
soul in the first place."

"Come on, Buffy at 17? No way we're gonna convince her to stay away from
Angel, I mean, she had some near misses after he'd been Angelus, I don't think
you showing up in a radiation suit and threatening to melt her brains with van
Halen will keep her away from him."

"OK, someone else casts the spell. Let's see, then we had Giles, Amy ... Miss Calender."

Willow nodded. "You have to save Miss Calender. You get some supplies from
the flamey wreckage of the Magic Box, I'll call Angel and find out exactly where
and when to send you."

Xander searched thru the ruins of the Magic Box, switching his flashlight
between searching the wreckage and Willow's shopping list. "What are you doing,
rummaging thru the remains of my former business? Trying to find something else
for your precious Willow to break?"Anya asked annoyedly.

Xander whirled around, hiding the list and shining the light in Anya's
face. "Jesus Anya, don't do that. I jump around in here and I'll fall thru the
floor, and you remember how well that turned out last time."

"Don't remind me. Right now the thought of you dying of syphilis has a
certain appeal. And you haven't told me why you're here."

"Just trying to help, you know, salvage what we can before it gets looted
or rained on, estimate rebuilding costs, things like that."

"Oh, well that's very nice of you, Xander. Especially nice to take time out
from taking care of our world-destroying friend."

"Hey, she's only an attempted world-destroyer, your vengeance-demon-ness."

"Right, that makes it all better. So, how is she?"

"Better. I mean, she's been using my shoulder for a kleenex for the past
day, and she's been going for Angel's record on the whole broody introspective
thing, but she's getting better."

"It's good to know a day after being corrupted by the black magics she
commands Willow's up for doing a ritual."

"Yeah, it's - what?"

"Xander, I've seen Willow's shopping lists before, she always uses that
cute stationary, plus you've not touched several intact statues and jars while
packing some broken and potentially contaminated supplies. What grand mystic
plan has she come up with now?"

"Look, she's ... she's come up with a way to get rid off her powers without
killing herself, and she needs these things to make it work. We just need to do
this one ritual, and everything should be better."

"Oh, well far be it for me to stand in the way of doing a dangerous magic
ritual with an unstable person. I'll just add whatever you take to the damage
estimates for the insurance company. If you need to steal anything more, feel
free, I'll be visiting my not-so-silent partner." Anya turned and flounced out
of the amazingly still intact doorway.

"I'm home." Xander called out as he opened the door to his apartment. "I
brought dinner. Dinner's funny colored sand and bits of animals usually only
found in cafeteria hamburger, but it's here."

"Good, just put it on the table." Willow walked out of the bathroom,
wearing one of Xander's shirts and not much else. "I took a shower and my
clothes were getting kinda stinky. Hello Xander, Earth to Xander..."

Xander was busy staring at the beautiful woman before him. "Sorry, I was
just thinking of the last time I saw you like that."

"Well, this time I promise not to try to kill you for resisting my sexual
advances." Willow nervously tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Xander,
the last time I was dressed like this, would it have worked? I mean, if there'd
been no love spell, no Oz, no Cordelia, just you and me in your bedroom?"

"Yeah, ... yeah it would have."

"Good. I mean, it's nice to know I can have that effect on a guy. The only
person I've ever successfully seduced was Tara."

"Will, why is this important to you now? I mean, you're playing for the other team now, right?"

"I've been thinking about that. I've been thinking about a lot of things
really, and it's ... you fall in love with a person, Xander, not a gender. I
think I was so insistent to reassure Tara and get away from my old self."

"Anyway, we're getting a bit off topic here Will. Did you talk to Angel? Do
we have a target moment?"

"No, I called, some girl named Fred said she hadn't seem him since last
night. So we have to aim for an earlier moment and warn ourselves. It's really
up to you, you're the one traveling so you set the destination."

"It's up to me?"

"Yeah, I do the ritual, you focus on the where and when you need to be. We
just have to pick a point and make a change."

"Ok, umm, let me think. Have to warn ourselves, have to make us at 17
believe it, so we both have to see it ..." Willow walked up to him and rested
her head against his heart. "Willow that's very distracting."

"Sorry, I just ... need this." She looked up at him. "It's not a very
feminist thing to say, but it feels a lot better to be loved than to be
powerful." She put her head back against his chest. "Mind if I stay here for a
while?"

"Will, if you stay there, we'll never get around to the spell." Xander
meant to put his hands on her shoulders, but somehow they ended up on the small
of her back.

"I just need a few minutes ... oh. Ohh." She smiled, reached up and kissed
him."Now you won't back away, talk about baseball or the significant others
neither of us have, right?"

"Will, are you sure we should do this?"

She looked up at him, her control slipping, eyes glistening with the beginnings of tears. "Xander, please, just, help me feel something else." She took a deep breath, and managed a fragile smile."Besides, we should have done this a long time ago." She kissed him again, and led him off to the bedroom.

Anya sat staring at Giles in shock. "How long has he been like this?"

Buffy leaned over to her and whispered back, "About half an hour. One of
the nurses thought he was being stoic and British, you know, stiff upper lip and
all that, so when he complained about the pain she gave him the really good
drugs."

"Hey now, just because I'm high as a bloody kite and can't move for fear of
tearing loose the baling wire holding my insides together doesn't make me deaf."

"Sorry Giles."

"So Giles, did you know that Xander was kind enough to offer to give us a
free damage estimate on the Magic Box? Well, actually, he used that to cover up
stealing supplies so Willow could do a ritual, but..."

"Willow's doing a ritual? And you let them have magic stuff? Anya are you
crazy?" Buffy leapt up and started for the door.

"Buffy wait, don't you see, she's going to make everything better, the way
thing's were supposed to be." Giles called out from his bed.

"Anya, what's he talking about?"

"The ritual's supposed to take away Willow's powers."

"Ohh, it will do much more than that, it will change everything." Giles
stared off into space. "Look at that. They're such a cute couple. I always knew
they were supposed to be together, as soon as I saw them." Anya and Buffy stared
at him like he'd grown another head. "I can still see her. She's actually come
up with a way to fix things that might fix things. She's going to make
everything come out the way it was supposed to."

"The way it was supposed to be?" Buffy asked, angry and upset.

"Buffy, please, we've managed to cock things up beyond all recognition. I
knew what should happen within a few days of meeting you all. Xander was
supposed to go on to some kind of blue collar success, Willow was supposed to
become Watcher after me, and you were supposed to make a happy ending come out
of the unending tragedy that is your love life. Sad part is that Xander's the
only one of us that's where he's supposed to be." He stared off into space again
and smirked. "In more ways than one. I somehow always pictured them getting
married."

"Giles, what is Willow going to do?"

"She's going to change history."

Buffy charged down the corridor to Xander's apartment, hearing rhythmic
voices from behind the door. She raised her foot to kick the door open, when she
heard: "Oh God, Xander, yes, YES!"

Buffy straightened up, shook her head, prepared to kick in the door again,
when : "Yes Xander, there, right there, that's PERFECT!"

"Right, not ritual noises, not-going-to-be-getting-to-ritual-anytime-soon
noises, plenty of time to stop it later. I'll just wait around till they're
done."

Ten minutes later she left, deciding they would probably rest before doing
anything else strenuous.

Willow giggled as Xander wrapped his arm around her from behind,
interrupting her magical preparations. "Xander stop, I've got to get this circle
exactly right or else serious badness."

Xander reached around with his other hand to pull her hair out of the way
and kissed her neck. "What kind of badness? Stinky smoke, explosions, unstuck in
time, or ever expanding tear in the space/time continuum?"

"Unstuck in time. I could call you Sammy, you could call me Al."

Reluctantly Xander released her. "Ok, so how does this work?"

"You stand here in the circle, and once I get started you can't leave for
anything, or else the spell goes all kaplooey. You have to concentrate on
exactly where and when you want to go. You've got a point all picked out?"

(...better to be loved than to be powerful...)
(...should have done this a long time ago...)
"Yeah, I've got a target."

"And you won't tell me?"

"Trust me, it'll change things. Now, if I'm just close to me, I'll get a message, right?"

"It'll be all subconscious, so you'll get some memories, and if you think
real hard you can send yourself a message, but you won't know that you know it
until something reminds you. So you need to show up in front of us and actually
say it to get a message across clearly."

"Ok, got it." Xander checked his Sunnydale survival pack: cross, stake,
holy water, yup, all there. "How much more you got?"

"I need to finish this design, and finish mixing this incense, say another five minutes."

"Ok." Xander wandered over to his kitchen, got something to drink, and came
back out. "Will, are you sure this is right? I mean, we've had a lot of close
calls, and rewriting history we might not make some of them, you know."

She nodded. "I know, that's why we need to send you. Past you should get
enough information so those close calls shouldn't be so close. This should give
us all a chance to avoid making the same mistakes in the first place."

"Yeah, and what happens if my headfull of future knowledge gets torn off by
some vamp before I remember something important?"

Her cheerful mask fell away. "Xander, if it happened again, could you kill me?"

"What?"

"If I got corrupted by the magic again, went all evil and vengeancy, could
you walk up to me, smile, hug me, and ram a knife into my brain? Because that's
what it would take to take me out, and you're the only one who could get close
enough to do it."

"No, no I couldn't. Not evil witch Willow, not evil vamp Willow, not any
Willow. I guess this is the only way to go, huh?"

She nodded again. "I'm just about ready. Kneel here in the center, facing
away from me, and remember, once I start, I can't stop, we can't interrupt the
ritual. Now clear your mind, and focus on your target."

Xander nodded, and she lit several small pots of goo and started chanting.

Buffy walked in to Giles's hospital room as he and Anya were talking. "Oh,
for Christ's sake, he saved the world by professing his unconditional love for
her. How much more of a sign do you need? They were meant to be together. Hello
again, Buffy."

"Hi guys, umm, I don't think they'll be getting to the ritual any time soon."

"Buffy, you're here, good. Giles has been giving a practically blow by blow
description of Willow and Xander having sex, and I'm finding it very upsetting.
I think I know why all of you got so annoyed with how often I spoke of our sex
life."

Buffy stared at Giles. "What can I say, turnabout is fair play." he
replied. "Besides, they're done now. They should be ready before too long."

"What? Now? But I just left! How can she be ready for a major ritual now?"
Buffy turned to leave. "Man, I thought I had stamina."

"Buffy wait. Why don't you want this? If she can pull this off, you might
never have died in the first, or possibly second, place. I could get Jenny back.
We could get the old Willow back. You remember her, the shy, sweet one we all
fell in love with." Anya and Buffy stared at him. "Not that sort of love, I
mean, she's been like a daughter to me, don't pout at me Buffy, you've always
been my favorite imagined daughter, but she was ... the responsible one, the one
I could turn the family business over to."

"Or you could get killed, or I could, or I could have failed one of those
apocalypses we narrowly avoided. God, how can you be so calm about this?!"

"I imagine I would be more upset, if I weren't so heavily sedated."

"God, I can't deal with this right now." Buffy turned and left.

Buffy paused a moment outside Xander's door. Yes, that was Willow chanting
noise, not Willow happy noise. She burst in.

"Buffy no! She can't stop now that she's started the ritual, and if she
stops I'll ..."

But Buffy had already stopped, staring behind Xander, at Willow. Xander
turned and saw Willow, her eyes black, blood draining from her nose, her eyes,
and her ears. He started to move toward her, but she held up her hand, reminding
him to stay within the circle. (Xander, wait) she telepathically projected at
him. (I can't stop the ritual, now that I've started. This will happen to me
whether or not I complete it.)

"Oh God Will, you can't, this is what you meant when you said this spell
would take a little extra oomf, isn't it? It needs a human sacrifice to get
someone to a place they already are."

Willow nodded, not interrupting the chant.

"And that's why I'm facing away from you, so I wouldn't know." She nodded
again. "So, if I screw this up, the woman I love more than anything else in the
world dies for no reason. No pressure." At that, the design on the floor
unfolded over Xander, glowed brightly, and disappeared, taking Xander with it.

Buffy rushed forward and caught Willow as she collapsed. Willow coughed up
blood, and reached up and touched Buffy's face. "Don't worry Buffy, he'll save
me, he always saves me." She coughed again, and lay still.

Xander appeared next to a low wall around a graveyard. He looked around,
and spotted the vampire sneaking up on the two oblivious teens.

"I got a movie for ya." Past-Xander wiped his ice cream on Willow's nose,
while future-Xander charged the approaching vampire and thought 'Kiss her idiot'
as loud as he could.

"Xander!"

"You're Amish, you can't fight back, 'cause you're Amish, I mock you with
my ice cream cone Amish guy."

"Witness. My nose is cold."

"Let me get that for ya." He moved to lick it off her nose.

"Xander!"

"Sorry I can't help myself, your nose looks so tasty." Xander gently wiped
off her nose, as his future self tackled the vampire. Past Xander tenderly held
her face and kissed her, as unnoticed future Xander staked the vampire.
Future-Xander stared at the two for a moment. 'Man, we really do make a cute
couple.' Then he ran and leapt up onto the wall.

"When Miss Calender works on the curse, make sure she does it at home, ok.
Make sure she works on the curse at home. Hi Buffy." He looked down at the two
stunned teenagers. "You two get back to what you're doing. Trust me, you're
meant for each other. Whoa, new sensation." Future Xander froze, turned
two-dimensional, seemed to fold into a line, collapsed into a dot, then
disappeared.

In the factory, the Anointed One looked up, pensive.

"What is it, master?" Absalom asked.

"Change. Destiny is being rewritten."

Spike finished spray painting the windows on the car, and stepped over the
former owner. "What is it now, pet?"

Drusilla laid back on the trunk of the car, giggling and waving her hands
in the air. "They're changing. She's reached into the stars and stirred them all
up, she took her kitten and wiped all the chalk off the slate, and all the
composers have their scores all scrambled."

"Uh huh. And who's this 'she'?"

"The red witch, oh, but she won't be the red witch anymore, she's made that
her go away."

Spike nodded, picked his princess up, put her in the front seat, and put
their few things in the trunk. He got in and they drove off west, heading for
the Hellmouth.

The Oracles looked at each other. "All has become unwritten. Anything is
possible."

"Be at ease, we will still have our champion, or another will be provided.
The essence remains."

Mayor Wilkins woke up, feeling something in the air. He got up out of bed,
adjusted his pajamas, and walked over to the window. "Someone's been naughty. Oh
well, someone might need a spanking, but not yet." He went down to the kitchen
to make himself a glass of warm milk.

"Let's give a big round of applause for the Sho man himself, on a quest to
recover the demon sword of his ancestors. I don't think ol' blue eyes
himself ever did 'My Way' like that. And I see the boss man here tonight, give
him a big round of applause too, after all, without him, we wouldn't be here.
Now we've got Carl, a Chaos demon lookin' for love in all the wrong places."
Tucking the microphone under his arm, Lorne clapped and gestured the demon onto
the stage, then went to sit at the bar next to the last act.

"Look, dumpling, I knew how much this means to you, but I gotta tell ya,
this ain't gonna be easy." Lorne glanced up at the stage, where the antlered
demon attempted and failed to hit a high note that wasn't supposed to be there
in the first place, when several years worth of images hit his brain like a
Seabreeze the size of a freight train. He gasped, his eyes rolled up, and he
fell over unconscious.

On the stage, Carl stopped, glanced around uncertainly, and asked, "Uh,
was it that bad?"